Welcome to part one of a two part series, “Top 10 TV show theme songs that will change your life”. Today we will be counting down to number 6. These themes were all voted on by me. This is not a democracy. Swollen Pickles is a dictatorship. All ten of the themes listed here have touched me in a special way. Let’s hope they also touch you! So, let’s begin…
10. He-Man
He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe. Defending the secrets of Castle Greyskull? Now my memory must be pretty bad, but what exactly were the secrets of Castle Greyskull again? I didn’t think the fact that He-Man preferred guys was much of a secret at all. My favorite thing about the theme/intro is that it summarises the He-Man life story in under a minute! What does that tell you? He-Man really needed to get a life!
The He-Man theme is all about empowerment. Run outside, raise your arm in the air and scream “I have the pooooowaaahhrrrr”.
9. Silverhawks
The Silverhawks were the gang given metal bodies and hawk wings to stop organized crime in the Limbo galaxy. A classic and kicking theme tune. The hawk sound effect is a nice touch. Very classy. In case you care, the guitar playing guy is country singing Col. Bluegrass, and that’s no ordinary guitar! In the 29th century that’s what they call a sonic guitar. Awesome.
8. The Care Bears
This theme is a classic for all the right reasons. It is down right irritating. I challenge you to listen to it 20 times in a row and not want to jam a screw driver in your ear at the end of it. It’s sooooo cute I just threw up on my shoes. This theme will change your life through giving you a greater appreciation for the sounds of silence.
7. The A-Team
Just like the team themselves this theme is all balls and a worthy number 7. Sgt. Bosco Albert “B.A.” Baracus seemed to have a bizarre 1980’s case of tourettes. He was one crazy fool. This theme could only be better if Mr T busted some rhymes over the top of it. This one is complete with subtitles, granted, they aren’t english subtitles, but they are still subtitles!
6. Thundercats
Snarf Snarf. Even in the 1980’s the Thundercats had street cred. There theme proves that they were down with the biatches and ho’s from the beginning. Thundercats also taught me that it’s ok to have bad hair.
5. Transformers
Before Michael Bay dragged the Transformers brand through the mud, there was the original cartoon. Compulsory viewing. Any one that has seen the show knows that Transformers are so much ‘more than meets the eye’. This theme tune taught me that besides that the Autobots were waging a battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decipticons, you should also never judge a book by it’s cover.
Actually, I have a question… how come Megatron is as big as Optimus Prime when they are robots, but when he transforms he shrinks to the size of a gun? And another thing, if the Transformers come from outer space, why do they look like cars and stuff from Earth?
4. Walker, Texas Ranger
This theme rocks like a roundhouse kick to the balls. As you will see it features two types of music, country and western. This clip also demonstrates that more off road vehicle roll over in Texas than any other place in the world. It’ll teach you everything you need to know about right and wrong, as well as workplace safety.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The original is still the best, and the theme tune slams that point home. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the heroes in a half shell, the worlds most fearsome fighting team. Ever wondered why they could never cut Shredder no slack? Actually the ‘rap’ theme from the live action movie was a booty shaker as well. If I was a male stripper that might just be my performance music of choice.
2. Greatest American Hero
A teacher becomes a superhero after finding an alien space suit. things turn pear shaped when he loses the instructions and struggles to control his new powers. Who would have thought those events would lead to one of the most inspirational themes of any show anywhere in the galaxy? Believe it or not, exercise your personal freedom… just don’t wear a red lycra body suit!
1. Monkey
My clear number one, the Monkey Theme (often referred to as Monkey Magic). How could this theme not be a classic? Look at it this way, Monkey was performed by Japanese actors in China and then dubbed into English. The show itself was such pure gold.
As for the theme, there stand no greater in history. Check out the transcript below, filled with so much wisdom…
“In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned. Heavens sought order. But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless aeons wheeled and passed. Time and the pure essence of Heaven, the moisture of the Earth, the powers of the Sun and the Moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation. And it became magically fertile. That first egg was named “Thought”. Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, “With our thoughts, we make the World”. Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it came a stone monkey. The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!”
… “the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown”… “With our thoughts, we make the World”. That speaks to me. Yes, the nature of Monkey is irrepressible indeed.